I've been looking forward to this week since I started. At last I finally got to do some real work. I'm sure I've mentioned before that I was recruited to train out a number SAP modules. Due to various reasons, the actual training was delayed and I had spent my first 3 weeks going over the material and learning about the company so I could relate the system to the business.
Anyway, there was a lot of spare time and I believe this is why some of the issues in the previous week came about. Y'know... idle hands... and all that.
There's only so far 'boasting in oneself' can take you... I can go on about how much experience I've had, my upbringing, my education, my years on this earth etc... at the end of the day, the only thing that really tells about me is how well I can do the job. That is where the respect and recognition from my colleagues and superiors will come from.
To be honest, I was terrified! I felt I was soon to be exposed as a fraud. I had gone over the material but I was scared about standing in front of 7 people going through slides and then the demonstrations. What if I forget stuff? What if I sound too African? What if I forget to smile? What if I don't have a clue when I'm asked a question? What if the demonstrations don't work? What if this... what if that... my mind was racing endlessly.
My co-trainer (the 20yr old) and I had drawn up a schedule where she'll train on some days and I'll support then I'll train on the other days and she'll support. Over the 12 day training period, she had 3 days holiday booked, so to make up her days... she was down to train the first 3 days, Monday to Wednesday.
On the first day, we both got in really early to set up and it all looked fine. When the training started, I soon realised that she did not have a clue, she read each slide word for word, made numerous errors and gave outrightly wrong answers when asked questions. It was terrible! I tried to correct some of her mistakes under the pretext of recapping but there were so many I had to stop. After the first topic, she passed round the feedback forms and I noticed she had put her name only as trainer on the forms. I had expected her to put both our names since I had played an almost 50% role during the training so far.
I decided that since she wanted to run the show and I had some prep work for my courses later in the week, I would check that she had all that she needed and go away somewhere quiet to review my material.
For the remainder days that she trained, I was present at the start of the day but left very soon after to study, leaving her on her own. I did pop back in now and again but this time, when she put her name on the feedback forms at least it would be because she actually ran the class.
To be fair, given her age and lack of experience, she had built a good rapport with the delegates and I felt that was more important than getting all the details right.
My first training day was on Thursday, she was off that day and I was on my own. I had prayed that morning standing on Matt 7: 28,29a (After Jesus finished speaking, the crowds were amazed at his teaching, for he taught as one who had real authority) - I prayed for God to bless my training and help me to speak with knowledge and authority.
By the end of the day, I had a splitting headache but thank God it had gone well. As I reviewed the feedback forms, one of the delegates had written "Omara is so much better than 'the 20yr old'", another wrote "Omara really explained everything in a logical and easy to understand manner" - the feedback was great! It was not about being better than anyone else, it was about doing the best I could and having that appreciated and acknowledged.
I felt released from constantly feeling I had to give a good first impression everytime. I could be more of myself and know that my work will testify for me.
The pressure of the week meant I barely noticed when Friday came around and it was time to go home.
I had so much to be grateful to God for. The Friday training went very well, we were ahead from the day before and we wrapped up by 2pm which meant I was able to set off home by 2:30pm! Super!