Weekend three - the good times continue

The weekend seems to come upon me suddenly, before I know it, it's Friday and time to go home. I left work about 3:30pm and usually go all the way down the M1 to the M25 junction, but after a few nasty surprises, I now know to get off at Junction 12 (Dunstable) and go through the back roads eventually ending up at St Albans and then home. Despite getting a bit stuck at St Albans, I still managed to make it home by 5:40pm - 2 hours and 10 minutes! On a Friday evening? - a record since I've been in Leicester.

From an earlier phone call to Tunji, I knew he was not going to be home by the time I got back - but I was okay with that. As much as I like my every wish obeyed, I don't want a subservient subject for a husband. I did not buy a gift for my baby this time, I was going to be his gift and as usual, I got my 'jump up and down' greeting. He's only just mastered the fine art of jumping with both legs off the ground and it is the cutest thing ever.

Dominique was making one of my favourite dishes, pan roasted potatoes with mushroom, onions and coriander with mint and coriander marinated grilled chicken... mmmmmm! I promised myself I'd start to eat healthier at home to complement my healthy balanced meals in Leicester but I put off that plan for yet another week.

Tunji walked in a short while later with a huge bouquet of flowers! Wow! Not only that, he'd been shopping and had bought me this gorgeous pair of knee high black leather boots. Ofcourse, they were the wrong size n all, but it was the thought that counted. He had made a real consious effort to please me and I really was pleased. I had forgotten about the all-night Festival of Life conference holding that evening and was almost too tired to go but I really felt the need for spiritual replenishing so I took a short nap and we set off about 9:30pm.

We got back home about 7am Saturday morning and despite still being tired, I was up by 10:30am to play with my baby. I had bought a cheap mp3 player in Leicester to listen to when in my room and I wanted to show it to Kitan. I really love introducing him to new items and experiences, the look on his face... priceless. He had never listened to music through headphones before, so this was a first for him. He loved it, watching closely as I selected the tracks for him to listen to. After a few minutes of being a dutiful student, he suddenly felt he'd learnt enough and could take over, so he grabbed the player from my hand and sat with the headphones on, merrily pressing away at all the buttons on the mp3 player. How daft!

Kitan and I played until about 1pm when he went to nap. I decided to dash to the Galleria to do some really quick shopping and then to Tesco. As I was getting dressed, Tunji offered to come with me - shock horror! "Really?" I asked because I could not remember the last time just him and I had gone browsing through the shops on a lazy Saturday afteroon, it reminded me of the early years - nice.

During our shopping trip, cost did not seem to be an issue. He did not go pale when I browsed in the handbags section - looking at only the soft italian leather ones. He did not feel faint in the coats and suits section and even continued chatting merrily while we were looking at shoes, usually, he would have gotten tongue tied, his eyes darting desperately at the exit. I was wondering if he'd won the lottery or something but I resisted the temptation to ask or make a catty comment. In the end I only bought a new work bag (nice shiny italian patent leather), some work tops (boring!) and some make-up (bodyshop stuff). We decided to go home first and pick up our baby then all go together to Tesco. Ofcourse, that turned a 1 hour shopping trip to 2 hours - but I was with my boys and feeling light-headedly content.

Sunday was church as usual. I've decided I quite like church but what I don't like is the early morning wake-up and the dressing up. My friend from Nigeria (who's still around waiting for her mid-wife checkup) had made me a lovely ankara outfit which I wore. I got loads of compliments and actually felt quite girly girly pretty. The best part of church was the fact the the G.O (General Overseer) of The Redeemed Christian Church of God (of which my church is a parish of) paid us a surprise visit. Tunji and I sat right behind him which was quite exciting. His sermon was on Ps 23 vs 6 - Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the days of our life and we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. That simple verse exploded with so much meaning and revelation, full of promise, hope and expectation that we can truly enjoy God's goodness and mercy everyday of our lives.

I had planned to leave home on Sunday because I had delegates to train first thing Monday morning. I'd bathed Kitan and was putting him to bed. We'd read stories and had just finished saying prayers when I found tears rolling down my face. My tears. This was another first for my baby. He had never seen Mummy cry and looked at me puzzled.

Why was I crying? I think it was because the weekend had been so good, I was holding my baby's soft clean little body, putting him to bed and knowing I won't see him for another week. It was distressing. Heartbreaking. Even now as I'm writing and remembering, again tears are flowing.

I'm so silly. I know a lot of the time before Leicester I felt stressed, unfulfilled, unappreciated, a liability, helplessly overweight, jobless, broke... I could go on. Leicester was supposed to give me some of the things I thought I needed... and it does. Work was getting better, I'd made some friends, my training classes were scheduled to start and really, it was getting better being in Leicester but... and it's a big big BUT it all paled into insignificance when compared with what I was giving up.

I decided to spend the night at home and set off for Leicester at 6am in the morning.