Thursday, November 23, 2006

Weeping may endure for a night.... end of week 3

As week three draws to a close, I marvel at how different everything was from last week. God obviously had mercy on me and changed things around.

Ofcourse, they always say in any situation, the only thing you can really change is yourself, so that was where I started. I am not so arrogant that I would think the whole world was wrong and I'm the only one that's right.

Coming back to Leicester on Sunday after a row with Tunji meant I had no support, no one to cry on the phone to, so I relied even more on God. I prayed for wisdom, direction and utterance and used the verses in Romans 12 as a guide.

On Monday, for the first time since I'd been in Leicester, I wore a skirt and held back my full cascading curls in a butterfly grip. I was going for a softer non-threatening more approachable look. I don't know where I got the idea for that from. Previously, I had worn only trousers and kept my hair down around my face.

I walked into the office with a cheery smile greeting friends and enemies alike and from the very first day, it looked like my new tactics worked. The 20yr old, the 23 yr old and the gay guy all commented on how much they preferred my hair up. My main-manager guy winked at me, the 20yr old sent me an email effectively apologising for Friday and before I left my direct-manager guy came up to me and said he was glad that I looked much happier, he did not want me unhappy at work and if I had any problems to come to him. Amazing!!!

That evening, I was doing my weekly shop in Asda and spotted some posh chocolate biscuits reduced from £1.89 to 40p, without thinking, I grabbed 2 boxes. The next morning, I took them in to work with my hair pulled back and wearing another skirt. "Help yourself guys!" I called merrily as I placed the biscuits in the middle table. Ofcourse, I had taken off the reduced price stickers. "Thanks for the yummy biscuits" my main-manager said, emails and further comments on the biscuits flowed all day. The gay guy asked me to lunch, he helped me so much with stuff I needed, I joked that it would only be fair to split my fat contractor wage for the day with him. I was engaging in non-work related conversations... talking about an up-coming wedding with one lady, holidays with someone else and much more!

A part of me was sad that they were so superficial, so a skirt, hair pulled back and biscuits was all it took plus I was having to play the game but another part of me just wanted 'no more drama' and to work in peace with everyone.

By Wednesday, I could not bear any more 'play acting' and I took myself off to Site 2 and another suprise awaited. My only friend since I'd been in Leicester was a Jamaican lady, Sandra whom I'd met only the week before. She is an SAP expert, 10 years older than me, a Christian and really friendly. We got on very well but unfortunately her contract was due to end last Friday. We'd said our good byes but who did I see when I got to Site 2? - Sandra! Apparently she'd been asked to stay on for 3 more months to help with testing the system but she could not say anything to me on Friday as it had not been confirmed. She's obviously based at Site 2 while I'm at the Head Office but it was so good to see her! We lunched together and I filled her in on what had happened last week.

Tunji and I made up, finally speaking on Wednesday. I had avoided his calls, only sending him text. When we did speak, I explained things from my point of view, he explained it from his point of view and apologised. He promised to change. "Yeah right" I thought. After 19 years of being together, I doubt much more will change but thankfully there's enough there to love and be grateful to God for. Nobody is perfect, least of all me.

It's Thursday night now and I'm a much happier person. I think I've even lost some weight, a work skirt I bought when I first moved to Leicester could not button up and now it does easily. I'm looking forward to the weekend and I'm even looking forward to work next week - now that's a miracle!

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