Weekend number two started well. I took advice to take it easy and not try to do so much and be everything in such a short space of time. The first weekend home left me very tired on Monday morning. I was determined not to let that happen this time.
After the horrendous week at work, I needed some quality 'me' time.
As always my baby was jumping up and down in excitement to see me. If anyone had any doubts about having children, it's moments like these that make it worth it. That unashamed pleasure and delight, just because I'm home was like a long drink of cool pure sweet water. It may have had something to do with the Bob the Builder magnetic sticker book I was holding... but hey!
As usual, Tunji was still at work, so I bonded with my son and caught up with the goings-on at home in the last week. Dominique put Kitan to bed and I chilled in front of the TV watching all my recorded programmes. By the time Tunji came home and we went to bed, all the problems of work were still on my mind and it was hard to be intimate. I decided not to tell him about it so he doesn't use it as a reason to get me to leave Leicester. That should be my decision.
On Saturday morning, a good friend from Nigeria arrived to spend the weekend with me. She had been in town for a week already but stayed with other friends as I was away in Leicester. She brought the usual goodies and we had a long gisting session - which was fun!
In the afternoon when she and Kitan were both napping (she's pregnant) I popped of to do some shopping - assorted meats and chicken, plantain, fish and some Tesco stuff. I had this weird urge to eat Banga soup - a traditional Nigerian soup made with palm kernel paste. I had bought the tinned palm kernel paste whilst I was out and now needed a recipe as I had actually never made it before. My friend Bernie gave me the recipe and also the Banga soup spices I did not realise I needed.
Later on Saturday, Tunji and I attended an Indian wedding engagement. His client's son was getting married. It was fun, the saris were breathtaking! When we got home whilst still sitting in the car, he asked if I was okay and I then told him about work. All he said was "we'll pray" - which was fine for me. He apologised about the rent problem and promised to give me more money on Monday.
Sunday. Church was great! I'd not attended for 3 weeks whilst Kitan was unwell and in quarantine. I got lots of compliments on how well I looked etc... but I'm sure that was because I'd been scarce. For lunch, I made my Banga soup and it was superbly fantastic - even if I say so myself. It turned out perfectly! Tunji and my Naija friend had it with Amala, I did not have pounded yam at home so I had mine with garri. It was chockful with beef, shaki, cowleg, stockfish and dried fish with a tiny bit of bitter leaf for added flavour. I had to freeze the left overs to avoid it being finished off. I'll have it next weekend.
Despite a great start, Sunday did not end well. By 8pm, Kitan was still up. I had bathed him and wanted Tunji to put him to bed while I got my stuff together to leave 6:30am Monday morning. Tunji refused. He said I had not spent enough time with Kitan this weekend and he felt I should take the opportunity to spend more time with him by putting him to bed.
I was so angry! How dare he tell me how to be a mother? How dare him monitor how much time I was spending with my son? He had spent the weekend exactly as he wanted. He even had time to go visiting. I had spent the weekend cooking, caring for Kitan, going with him to his engagement (I'd have prepared to go watch a film) and entertaining my house guest who also happened to be his best friend's wife. I went the extra mile because he'll be staying in their house when he goes to Nigeria in December.
I was really angry. I told him all of the above and more. I said "you won't kill me for my parents". I then went upstairs, threw my things into my case, kissed my baby goodbye and jumped in my car, heading back for Leicester. I set off about 9pm and got to Leicester just after 11pm. My housemate as already asleep and had not answered her phone. I had to ring the bell to get her to remove the chain and open the door.
I don't know what's wrong with everyone or is it me? Stress at home and stress at work. Who lives like that? What a mess!
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2 comments:
Just reading your old posts..I am glad going to leicester has become easier for you. My jaw dropped at the mention of banga soup..i went to school in benin so alot of my friend ate banga with starch.. Please send me your recipe, would really like to try it out.
Lady you dey spark oh! so you drove to leicester that night.I can be hot tempered i am pretty sure I would have done the same,men!
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