Bombshell!

Where do I start...

We left for Portugal on Friday, 8 of us in total, so it was a large party and with 3 children under 5, it was a challenge getting us all on the flight and off on holiday.

It was lovely there, we went to the Algarve and rented 2 self-catering apartments at the Rocha Brava resort, one for each family. They were really really nice. I've never gone self-catering before but because this time we had a much older Kitan, I wanted the flexibility of setting my own meal times and not having to deal with feeding an unwilling toddler in a restaurant every single day. I'm not sure I be going half-board in a hurry.

The weather was super! I'd left England with snow on the roof tops and Portugal was definitely t-shirt and shorts weather. The evenings got chillier but still only needed a pashmina to wrap over my top.

We'd also rented 2 cars for getting about and discovering the area.

We got there Friday evening, so all we did was unpack and sort out some food. The next day was a very hot day, the hottest day predicted for the time we were there, so we went off to the beach and spent most of the day there. The next day we ventured further afield to Portimao, the children and the husbands went to Zoomarine, a 'Seaworld-type' place, while us ladies went to the discount shopping mall nearby.

I did mention to Tunji that it was so bad of us not to have called home yet and by our 3rd day, we still had not phoned home.

On Tuesday evening, we finally called and I spoke with my cousin. She said everything was fine. I had given both her and Dominique a long spring-cleaning list of chores to do while we were away. Just before I rounded up the call (it was costing 55p a minute) she said "Aunty, I think Dominique is looking for another job" - I was like - "What?!!!" My cousin said she had overheard her on the phone and just wanted to let me know.

When I got off the phone, I told Tunji. I wanted to call Dominque immediately, but he said to leave it till we got back and then discussed it with her. I said "Okay" but was uneasy.

We spent the rest of our time in Portugal visiting little villages and day dreaming about buying a rundown house to do up and use as a holiday bolthole. Property prices were as low as 10,000 Euros - barely £7000! We went to Lagos - we thought it'll be cool to visit our sister 'home town' and see what the differences were with the real Naija Lagos. There was a tourist attraction of a building where slaves were brought to from Africa, stored and auctioned off. We could'nt go in as it was a private art gallery now, but I could not help thinking that did those slaves ever ever ever believe that sometime in the future 'black people like them' will be at this same spot, holidaying and generally living a 'free life'? It really is amazing how temporary any situation can be, even the Slave trade era. When I was little, after being picked up from school by my Dad, he used to entertain us in the car by singing "No condition is permanent in this world..."

How true... as I soon found out on Thursday! We were visiting Silves, another little town, not a lot to see but very picturesque and peaceful when I noticed a couple of texts on my mobile. They were from Dominique telling me that she'd left. Gone! Packed out with no forwarding address, no explanation and no sign that this was in the offing.

Can you imagine that! I was angry, hurt, betrayed, confused..... aaargh! I wanted to scream. I looked at Kitan playing by the fountain and thought "Oh my God, what am I going to do". How could she be so cruel, so callous, so fake, so... words fail me. How could she do this? I was due back at work on Monday! Kitan only goes to nursery 2 days a week. What do I do? Was God sending me a sign? Would I have to quit Leicester. I was in turmoil. Not so much losing her - that was hurtful enough - but more the confusion and disturuption that was now unfolding.

I then remembered how she came to me. When I interviewed her, she told me how wicked the family she was working for were and how they would never let her leave, she said they never paid her. I told her to write them a letter explaining and then sneak out. I would meet her at the end of the road and pick her up. That was how she left them and she'd done it to me too. How ironic! I never expected it but then again, I guess I did.

We left Silves immediately. Kitan was staring into my face as if to say "What is wrong Mummy?" He really loved Dominique, how was he going to cope? I had to make a superhuman effort to be cheerful for his sake but Tunji knew I was very very upset.

After we put Kitan to bed, we went over our options - Get my Mum over? Tunji said "No". Put him in full time nursery? I said "No". Quit my job in Leicester? We both said "No" - Can you imagine saying I have to quit due to childcare issues? How bad is that for us Mums out there? What will that do to the next Mum they interview or even the general perceptions of Mums?

So what do we do?

Many of my friends use me as an un official nanny agent and a friend had recently asked me to help her out. I'd asked another friend Emma who then sent me the number of a lady she knew was available. I just passed the number on but for some reason never deleted it from my phone. I searched for the text and called the lady, Diane. She was still available for work. It seems my friend never followed up my lead. I asked her to come and meet us at home on Saturday for an interview.

I felt a bit better having at least made a little headway into resolving the situation. But still I worried. What if she did not come? What if we did not like her? What if she did not like us? Would my desperation show?

This bombshell messed up the last 2 days of my holiday. On our last full day, Thursday, we went back to the mall shopping again, then on to Alvor, another small fishing village which on closer inspection seemed to have been invaded by the Irish. There were at least 20 Irish bars in the village center alone, not to mention other dotted about. We'd planned a BBQ on the last night. It was really nice, I was finally becoming able to ignore the ensuing 'wahala' at home and concentrate on enjoying and relaxing this last night in Portugal.

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Back in London

We arrived safely at Gatwick airport thank God after a much better flight than we had going out. This time we had the good sense to sit the children separately, they slept and it turned out to be a pleasant journey home.

On driving home, I thought maybe this whole Dominique leaving thing was an early April-fool joke. Tunji thought that would be a very expensive joke if it was. Alas! It was not a joke. We arrived to a spotlessly clean house but no Dominique. Her room was stripped bare of all her things. I interrogated my cousin, getting angrier and angrier as I did so. In the end she was in tears and I was fuming. Tunji had to step in, asking us to calm down. What's done is done.

I called Diane, the potential replacement and she confirmed that she will be in my house tomorrow (Saturday) at 10am.

9:30am on Saturday, my phone rings, it's Diane. She's at my local train station waiting to be picked up as agreed. Tunji went to pick her.

When I came down to meet her, she was this tall, fair skinned woman. She was wearing tight jeans, high boots with her hair in shaggy blonde streaked style. "Oh my God" I thought to myself inside. A total opposite to demure butter-won't-melt-in-her-mouth Dominique. Still we pressed on with the interview. Kitan had not seemed to miss Dominique so far but did not take full heartedly to this new woman. She's 41 in May she told us. She has 7 children that she raised her self back home in Trinidad.

The interview seemed to go well, she was happy with her responsibilities and I'd stressed that we were having a trial period of 4 months - until my contract in Leicester was over, after which we can review the situation and choose whether or not to continue. My sister's nanny Viola is also from Trinidad, so I called her and she chatted with Diane, then told me later on the phone that she seemed okay.

Anyway, I was desperate and she seemed fine. My cousin would be around to oversee whenever she was not in school and it was only for 4 months at the worst.

We offered her the job and she accepted to start on Tuesday Feb. 20th.

By God's grace, getting a replacement was arranged within a week of Dominique leaving. Diane has not started yet and I don't know how it will work out but still, I thank God. We are fasting this month and know that God has removed anyone from our lives who is not supposed to be there. He is purging us all the time and we have to be willing to let go of things that have outstayed their usefulness for fear of them becoming harmful. He has minimised the disruption to nil and I can only continue to trust Him going forward.