Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Part-time Mummy

Following on from last Thursday at work when my manager refused to let me leave, I ended up going in on Friday and working till 3pm.

I got home in great time - only one and a half hours. 90 miles in 90 minutes. Not bad.

My baby heard the key in the door and was already waiting expectantly for his Daddy to walk in and was so excited to see it was me. He ran from the hallway, into his play room then into the kitchen before running back to me.

I carried him and walked into the kitchen where Dominique was making a lasagna. I stood by the cooker talking to her with Kitan in my arms when he held my face in his little hands and kissed me on the lips, on my left cheek, then right cheek, then forehead and finally on my chin.

I don't kiss him in this way, no body does so I'm not sure where he learnt it from but I touched to tears. My sweet baby!

I wanted to be especially observant this weekend to see what effects my being a part-time Mummy has had on Kitan.

1. I'd actually noticed this before but this weekend it was more apparent that he calls everyone Mummy - i.e. my cousin and Dominique - even though he can call their names perfectly. When my sister visited during the week, he called her mummy too and when she asked why, Dominique explained to her that he calls everyone mummy but the mummy he calls me is slightly different. That is no consolation and I could'nt notice the difference. I kept answering "Yes baby" when he was infact referring to Dominique. I was pained but did not show it. I tried for 4 years to have this baby and to be called Mummy. He actually called 'Daddy' first and called both Tunji and I Daddy for a long time. When he finally got the hang of 'Mummy' it has now become a general name.

2. Kitan refuses to talk to me on the phone for most of the week I'm away. For some reason he chooses not to. Often times, I might excuse myself from my colleagues to go call my baby and I'll hear him in the background saying a loud emphatic "No" when Dominique says to him "Kitan come and talk to your mummy", she'll be chasing him round the house trying to give the phone to him. Sometimes he'll take the phone and just disconnect it. When I get back to my colleagues and they ask how he was, I usually lie. How can I say my child did not want to talk to me. When I'm home at the weekends, I'll get the phone and show it to him explaining that "mummy will call you on the phone, ok?" We'll role play for a little bit and usually when I get back to Leicester, he's happy to talk for a few days then he changes his mind and stops again.

3. He usually doesn't want me and Dominique in the room at the same time. If he's with Dominique and I come in or if we're together and she comes in, he wants her to leave, pushing her out and shutting the door. I think he believes that if she's there then I'll go since that is usually how it works during the week.

Those have been my 3 main observations and I'm not quite sure what they mean of if they are having any negative impact on him. I'm also concerned about how super-excited he is on Fridays when I get back compared to how he is usually during the week.

This weekend, I was shattered and did absolutely nothing on Saturday. I had great plans to go shopping during the day for our up-coming holiday to Portugal and then go to the cinema with friends. All I ended up doing was sleep, wake, eat, sleep - not even taking a bath. Sunday was better, went to church and then went to a non-Naija Naija party for a friends 2 year old son (See Me Myself & I's Post).

I'm training first thing Monday and planned to leave on Sunday but changed my mind. I'll leave on Monday.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please don't feel bad about Kitan not talking to you on the phone. My 2 yr old Korede doesn't talk to nobody on the phone, not his daddy, not his only uncle, not his aunties and definitely not his grand parents...

Maybe 2 yr olds don't quite understand this phone concept thing, and what they don't understand, they don't entertain. Korede either just stands there with the phone to his ear, after a sec or two he will wriggle away and other times when you call out "phone" to him, he runs like the wind!

As for the "calling everyone mummy" thing, well I am with Korede 24/7 and he doesn't call me Mummy, sometimes the word mama comes up but he can say that to his sister as well, Then again her nickname is Mimi so who knows what he is acutally saying!

Also I'm sure you know that "dada" or "daddy" is easier for babies to say than "mama or "mummy" So my dear, I think you might be coming down a little too hard on yourself here - 2 year olds will be 2 year olds!

Don't forget the meat pie recipe.

Remi Fagbohun said...

Oh sweetie-
I am sorry to hear about Kitan...
Try your best (i know thats easier said than done) not to feel beat yourself too much about it, youre doing all you can and this will all be over soon!

France, Italy, Spain - here we come!

Omara's Weight loss progress (started diet 17th March 2007)