I woke up this morning at 5:40am and could not go back to sleep. I had this strong feeling to pack my stuff... not all of it but to take my large suitcase back home this weekend instead of my travel bag.
The truth is, I'd always felt I should begin to take stuff back in the month leading up to my departure so on the last day, it will be a tidy good bye. Not suitcases, bin bags, dripping cream bottles and all that.
So I started packing. I cleared out half the clothes in my wardrobe, my food cupboards and most of the stuff on my bathroom shelf. Also all my books. My flat mate was still around (usually she leaves for the gym at 6:15am) and I had to reassure her that I was definitely coming back after the weekend when she saw me clearing out.
On the job front... I'm getting calls now. One agency has been pestering me to send further information for a role in Swindon. Yes Swindon! In a moment of madness one evening, I sent off my brand new CV out willy nilly and one was for a job almost 3 hours drive away in Swindon. What was I thinking. It's been over a week now and he's been calling me upto 3 times a day to send the additional information. I spoke to him finally 2 days ago and said I had not had time to prepare the other info he wanted and I was not sure I wanted to work 3 hours away from home especially after Leicester. He said "Oh, it's not 3 hours, it's 1 hour 45 minutes" - what could I say except "Okay" and then sent him the info. Hopefully, the company would not be interested otherwise I could find myself travelling up to Swindon to interview for a job I don't want. I did get some other more promising calls today, so we watch and pray.
"What about the church job?" you ask. I spoke to the Pastor's wife on Sunday and she stressed the need for me to be spiritually strong to work at church. To attend more prayer meetings etc... She said the job was "more spiritual than anything". I want to grow spiritually which is why the role is appealing to me but I'm not sure I want to be (or am) able to discern ALL things from a spiritual perspective.
I have been praying about making the right decision and today, I was reading my bible. In Matthew, chapter 17 (I think), Jesus was telling his disciples how he will be persecuted and killed. Peter replied "Never my Lord!" or something like that. And Jesus rebuked him seriously saying "you are seeing things in the flesh and not in the spirit. Get away from me!" - Obviously Peter did not want anything bad to happen to Jesus. That was his motive but he did not realise (spiritually) that that was part of God's plan for Christ to reclaim His position at God's right hand side and for the world to be saved. Peter's role as disciple was "more spiritual than anything" - and he did not always get it right.
God led me to this passage so what is God trying to tell me through this story?
To change the topic drastically - Tunji called me today to say Diane (my emergency nanny) wants to go but will wait till the end of my contract. I was not shocked or upset. She started working for me while I was already in Leicester and has not had the chance to learn things my way. She's very good with Kitan but not so great in house chores but I let it go because my priority was my baby. I did feel that when I move back home, it would be like 2 madams in the house and there was bound to be a clash. Her 'contract' was till end of June anyway and I had planned to let her go and find someone else who would learn things my way since I'd be home. Her deciding to leave on her own accord was God taking control and sparing me the unpleasantness of letting her go.
My weightloss plan has gone weird... I've not lost a pound in 2 weeks (according to my scales) but have dropped almost 2 dress sizes. Things I could not wear 3 weeks ago now fit - go figure!?
Anyway, the weekend is here and I'm hoping for lovely sunshine especially as I have a day off on Friday (shoe shopping and general pampering me thinks!) and I'd be attending a wedding on Saturday.