This image is the word 'Liar' made into a faceI'm not quite sure how to describe the weekend I had... I had to go to Prague without my husband's knowledge.
The whole week, I was wracked with guilt. I have several vices but lying is not my thing and even when he suspected I was upto something last week, I denied it.
It was supposed to be a 2 night stay but the logistics of covering that up was impossible, not being home for Mother's Day was not an option, so I cut it down to one night. The plan was to leave from the Leicester airport (EMA) on Friday morning, leave Prague Saturday afternoon then head home.
I told Tunji that we'd all been asked to stay back on Friday because the project we'd been working on was going live on Monday and they needed all hands on deck. I would be home on Saturday after a lie-in. Ofcourse he believed me.
While there, I had called him several times pretending to be in Leicester working.
The trip was successful and thank God I made it back safely... as I drove home, I knew I could not keep it up and had to confess.
He was not home when I arrived, he had gone with Kitan to the barbers. I took a shower and rested from my hectic escapades. When they got back we relaxed in the lounge, playing with our baby when he said "So how was work, you must be tired." I started off saying "It was fine..." then broke off and said "I have to tell you something.... please don't be angry".
Angry was an understatement, Tunji flipped. Kitan was in tears and I had to tell him to leave the room so as not to upset him further.
He was angry, betrayed, confused and upset. Most of all he felt so foolish and trusting - he really believed me when I called from Prague saying I was in Leicester. And why shouldn't he?
He said "How do I know Leicester, Sanjay and all those work colleagues are real?", "Who knows where your pay is really coming from?" I maintained my apologetic postion, refusing to get angry back or to rise to the bait.
I felt bad. I wish I had not deceived him. I wish he hadn't created a situation where I felt lying was my only option.
Needless to say, it was a difficult weekend.
We went shopping on Sunday to Tesco with Kitan and bumped into one of my colleagues from work (Tim, another Nigerian contractor), he was with his wife. I introduced them and asked Tim how his work was going as we work on different parts of the project... He replied "You know it's go-live on Monday now, so things are hectic." We made more small talk and went about our shopping.
That little chance encounter reassured Tunji that I was actually working in Leicester and there was go-live on Monday.
By the end of Sunday, he had forgiven me and we were pals again...
11 comments:
Glad you and Him indoors are fine. Glad you are fine as well. KK
You poor thing!!
Curiousity is killing me, what did you go to Prague for?? another job or shopping??
I am happy all is well in your world.
wow! glad everything worked out fine...
Good thing you fessed up, you would have been so guilt laden! Its not like you were up to no good, but trust is trust and he probably felt like you broke his trust. An innocent lie is still a lie and can hurt even the strongest relationship.
I know you feel better now that the truth is out!
Thank God for an understanding husband too. I'm glad things were back to normal now.
How is work? How was your Go-Live? hehe! I think I know what company you work for.
Enjoy the rest of the week, the weekend is near, and you will be back home with your boys! :)
i can be quite convincing ay lieing but it never pays off in the end anyways. causes more harm more often than telling the truth. things is my hubby never forgets anything so if i lie n the story changes 4yrs down the line he will point it out in a split second. so i don't even bother.
btw why did u have to lie to him abt going to see ur sister?
It always good to get stuff off your chest. carrying around a lie can be nerve wrecking and its good that you came clean at the earleist opportunity. I am glad you guys are cool now.
The last time I lied to my husband he was like,.."ehen so you that are always preaching can lie too? woman of God"love to kitan you guys must have frightened him.
I was just going to comment ...."oh my gosh"..... but I don't think that would be a constructive comment.
But Omara dear, why didn't you tell him, God forbid but what if something had happen and it was on the news... Tunji would be there thinking nothing of it because as far as he is concerned his wife is safe and sound in Leicester!
I'm sure you had your reasons but ummmm.... not something you'll try again I'm sure!
Omara! I'm shocked... I'm not even sure if this is the forum in which to voice my true opinions about this... you know I'm a bit of a radical on issues of honesty and trust.
Why did you lie? What did you go and do in Prague (being nosy here!) that was so important that your HUSBAND could not be trusted to know about it? Would telling him in advance have been so bad? I know you... if you told him in advance and he didn't agree, you would still have gone and damned the consequences... knowing fully well that Tunji and you have weathered worse storms and he would ALWAYS end up on your side!!
Let me ask... What if it had been Tunji who had gone away without your knowledge? Even if he had come back and done EXACTLY what you had done and given you EXACTLY the same reason, would we all be here congratulating you on the fact that "all's well that ends well"??? I feel not...
As women, I feel very strongly that we have to be very careful of applying double standards to what we want / demand from a happy committed marriage. It's all well and good to feel relieved that things have worked out well, in this instance, but always remember... if it had been Tunji that did it... you MAY have not been so quick to forgive and forget and it could have had serious consequences for the trust you had in him as your husband and those consequences could have been far-reaching into your future.
Well done for confessing. And I am truly relieved and happy that all worked out well. BUT NEVER LIE AGAIN!!! There are only so many chances we get in life to take the P*ss...
Hope you're still talking to me after this...
@Dzzzybabe - our 25 year friendship is over! Just joking.
@All - I know it was wrong and I've opened myself up to all comments whatever they are. I did have my reasons and in a way I wanted him to feel what betrayal was like. Was I paying him back for something? Maybe? It's all over now and we can move on as a couple. We live and learn. That's the main thing.
i love your blog... and i'm learning from you.
what was the lie...?
I am glad you came clean with your hubby - and I don't blame him for flipping (sorry, but I have to be honest). Trust is VERY important between couples and you broke it. I am curious though why your trip was kept under wraps.
However, all's well that ends well. Happy you've both made up. Don't it again, naughty woman! :-D
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